Trying to Find My Center in a Week of War
October 14, 2023
I’ve never been very active on social media, but last week this very casual habit became so toxic it made it hard for me to function. Checking into Instagram on occasion felt like walking into a room where people were screaming at one another, a room in which some people were being genuinely hurt and others were just opining for all to hear. I couldn’t help but feel that outside actors were involved to further divide us. This was no place for genuine grief about the truly horrific, unspeakable events in Israel and Palestine, and yet everyone was commenting on it; so many people who are neither Jewish, nor Palestinian, nor subject-matter experts were posting and re-posting with aplomb.
I deleted the app from my phone.
My choice to stop interacting, even passively, has done nothing to stop the war or relieve suffering. But my decision to step away from the fray has prevented me from inadvertently adding to it, whether online or off. I had lost my center; rage and anguish were pulsing through my veins and I couldn’t find presence. I wasn’t able to think rationally or without anger. I needed to remember the essence of Jung’s story of the rainmaker. Regaining my center was the first and second thing I needed to do. Stepping away from that noise has helped. So has yoga, meditation, therapy, journaling, being with people I love, being in nature, teaching and talking with vibrant people, and reading a beautiful novel.
I am, nonetheless, still ill-equipped to speak to the horror of recent days or the horror that is coming. I can barely even type this without crying.
There are three particular pieces of writing that spoke to me this week, though. I offer them to you here in case they might be of value to you too. Here’s Elise Loehnen, Nicholas Kristof, and Nir Avishai Cohen. I know that amidst the painful and divisive noise, there are also a lot of beautiful souls holding both the grief and the need to do something different than what we have been doing for decades and centuries.
You may recall that I had intended to send Part 2 about my pilgrimage to Christiana Morgan’s Tower, but it felt even less appropriate to do so today than when I sent Part 1 early last week. I will get back to that soon. That trip was, in contrast, a week of beauty, creativity, and a reminder of what can come from mutual affection and mutual concern.
May this weekend’s new moon eclipse provide some space for release. And may this Sunday bring you some peace. Sleep well, nourish your body, and if you think of it, send people notes of love.
XO, Satya
Satya Doyle Byock, Director of The Salome Institute of Jungian Studies