Structure for Group Dreamwork:
a framework for exploring dreams together
For the Dreamer
Please share a dream that is, ideally:
Relatively recent to allow for the best recall with associations and memory of surrounding events. Please also date your dream and make a note of what was happening in the day(s) prior / after the dream.
Written in the present tense, i.e. “I enter a small white house, and see a large red apple in the front room…”
One page or shorter in length. But don’t cut off the beginning, middle, or end! We need to hear a whole dream. (Longer dreams are just harder to engage with fully in the time.)
Do not share a dream that includes anyone else in the dream group, or anyone who is personally well-known to someone in dream group. (These dreams are for other times.)
For All Participants
When we begin dreamwork, we’ll take a minute or so of silence together to get into our bodies and “settle in” with full presence. (If you can’t be settled in one spot for this portion, please turn off your video.)
We’ll listen to the dreamer share their dream once through, slowly.
The next step is to ask clarifying questions about the dream and explore specific sections of the dream with the dreamer. These questions allow us to make sure that we’ve understood what the dreamer experienced / saw, and allows the dream to enter the space more fully.
“Can you repeat what happened right after the sky went dark?”
“What was the phrase you used to describe the car?”
“Where were you in the first scene?”
We’ll then ask the dreamer for personal associations, questions that help to “open up” each image or feeling.
“I notice a number of dogs in this dream, what’s your relationship with dogs?”
“The step mother character is prominent. Are you a step mother? Do you have a step mother?”
You can also ask about any known amplifications, questions that go beyond the personal experience and enter the archetypal / collective unconscious. This taps into what the dreamer may know about mythological, religious, biological aspects of an image or scene, but hasn’t yet connected with the dream, or named.
“What do you know of snakes in mythology or religious stories?”
“What is your understanding of how cancer works on the body?”
“If I were from Mars, what is a car?” (This specific question can really help to get behind the assumptions of a common image and uncover valuable information.)
Stay curious before sharing too much of your own thoughts, or taking the conversation away from the dream images.
After these questions and a period of curiosity, to support the dreamer’s own triggers of awareness, we’ll enter a stage in which everyone is welcome to share their thoughts on the dream through a process called “If this were my dream…”
Sharing Insights: “If this were my dream…”
In the late ‘90s, in reaction to what he saw as overly interpretive dreamwork in analysis, Psychiatrist Montague Ullman established a framework for group dreamwork in his book, Appreciating Dreams: A Group Approach, which introduced the use of the phrase “If this were my dream…”
While we use all of Ullman’s formal framework, we will attend to the guiding principles of empowering the dreamer to understand their own dream. We’ll also borrow the phrase “If this were my dream” for group reflection back to the dreamer.
The use of this single phrase allows participants to share their reflections on the presented dream while owning the potential for projection. Some examples of sharing may include:
Archetypal amplification (mythic, religious, historical, etc.) of any image
“If this were my dream, I’d think of the apple in the Bible and the blame placed on Eve…”
Any puns or turns of phrase in the dream that you noticed show up
“If this were my dream, I’d explore how the phrase ‘I can’t breathe’ might be connected to the Black Lives Matter movement."
“If this were my dream, I’d wonder about how the mom’s comment about the snake felt very sexual…”
“If this were my dream, I’d be very curious about how cancer was a primary theme, but so were crabs, the sign of Cancer in the Zodiac.”
Personal associations that might feel relevant to the dreamer
“If this were my dream, I’d want to reflect on how my father may still be in the driver’s seat of my own life.”
Feelings in your body or emotions that arose while listening, or that seem buried to the dreamer’s awareness in the dream itself
“If this were my dream, I’d have to notice how sad I felt during the party, even though I was smiling the whole time.”
“If this were my dream, I’d try to ask my body what would be happening if I was struggling to stand up.”
Dreamwork Foundations:
remembering & recording your dreams
Keep a journal and pen by your bed, or easy access to a voice memo if you’re more likely to record a dream by speaking than writing.
After waking, as soon as you can, start writing.
Record your dreams in present tense:
“I’m walking down a dark street and I see a cat run past me on the right.” vs.
“I was walking down a dark street and I saw a cat…”
Write down the images, feelings, phrases, etc. that you remember from the night. Try not to believe “that’s not an important detail” and other similar self-editing. Write it all down.
Don’t worry too much about sequence, though it can be important. More details of that may come back to you as you write the rest down. Dreams aren’t always linear or in “rational” chronological order. Don’t worry about it making sense while you’re writing.
Record the date.
If all you can remember is a single, tiny image, start there! You may end up remembering much more of a dream after beginning to write down a small piece.
You might also consider adding anything you can think of from the day before — yucky feelings, big questions, relationship issues, work and life stuff etc. It can be notes, but it will probably be useful later to help understand a bit of the psychic context for the dream.
If you have the time, you can re-read your dream later in the day and see if there are additional details you remember that you forgot to write down at the time. A different kind of consciousness (later in the day) may offer a new layer of memory.
If you don’t use an alarm clock, sleep late, and don’t remember your dreams, setting a gentle alarm for early in the morning might help. You can write down your dreams when you’re awoken by the alarm and then go back to sleep again.
Try to avoid:
Believing you know what the dream means. Dreams rarely mean what you think they mean at first. Even if you feel certain that “that’s just my worry about x,” write down your dreams and allow space for further reflection later. Sometimes a single dream becomes clear only after other dreams on the same topic arise and you’ll be glad you wrote down the earlier versions.
Too much light in the morning. Dream recall is easily disrupted by lights, blue light from screens, sounds, and conversations. Laying in the dark for a short while after waking, without even moving much in bed, can help with remembering dreams. Try to follow a single image, if that’s all that you remember, and work to recall whatever details you can before getting up to write.
Substances before bed. Alcohol/drugs/substances can affect how you’re able to dream and the quality of your consciousness. If you use these frequently, especially before bed, you may want to see what shifts without using them.
Screens before bed. Movies and TV right before bed can also disrupt dream recall, especially those that arouse the nervous system in one way or another.
Things to keep in mind:
Dreams are rarely singular. A great deal of information can come through different dreams in one night, and in different dreams over weeks, months, and years. Notice if themes—sometimes loose themes—begin emerging. Consider tracking these patterns or recurring images.
The beginning, middle, and end of your dream tend to be in strong relationship with one another, even if you can’t see any connection. The start and resolution, just like a good novel, can hold tremendously valuable information. Try to always write down the whole thing.
If it feels like you have a dream that is just repeating itself, almost identically, over different nights, work on capturing the tiny differences that you notice over time. This can help offer cracks of understanding to what these dreams are about.
(Recurring dreams that are almost a literal repetition of lived trauma may require a different intervention. These kinds of dreams may be outside of the “healing function of psyche.” They can be reworked, but processes like active imagination, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, body work, etc. may be called for as these dreams aren’t necessarily available for “insight” and “meaning” and simply need to be stopped and integrated.)
On Boundaries:
important notes for the protection of self and others
For the Dreamer
It is an act of vulnerability to share a dream with others. You will almost certainly be surprised by what arises while answering questions and hearing the reflections of others.
Keep in mind that this is not therapy nor a sealed therapeutic container. If anything feels overwhelming or suddenly “not right,” you can pause or stop dreamwork. Do not push through into areas that are not safe for you. If you’d prefer not to answer a question that is asked of you, you can simply express that and the group will move on.
After sharing a dream with a group, it is very common to have a “vulnerability hangover.” You may think that you over-shared or that you said something “silly,” “stupid,” “weird,” etc. You probably didn’t. You probably did exactly what you needed to do in dreamwork. Your defenses are likely just alarmed and reacting out of habit. However, as you get accustomed to this work, it may be good to check in with one or two people who were in your group for a reality check. If you need to do this, again, keep in mind that their perspectives are their perspectives.
Always remember to take in what is helpful, and leave the rest.
For All Participants
Listening to dreams is a sacred act. This does not mean it has to be overly serious! But if you can’t be fully attentive and visible to the dreamer, it’s best not to take part at that time. Be on camera and focused if you’re in the group.
Do your best, at all times, to “stay with the dream,” versus pursuing tangents that do not feel rooted in the images, feelings, or reactions from the dreamer.
What happens in dream group should stay in dream group. Do your best not to share dream images or stories from dream group with others. If it feels important to do so for your own processing, do your best to protect the confidentiality of the dreamer and only share what is necessary. The dreamer may never consciously know if their dream is shared with others, but they may know in other ways; it can alter the field of dream work when the sacredness of this work is not honored. Holding dreams as sacred is part of this work.